fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
