In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
