If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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