That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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