I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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