Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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