Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I don't deserve a penis
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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