Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
