Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
