Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
