Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
