she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
