I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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