i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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