Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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