He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
