you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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