I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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