guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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