I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im holly from the hills drunk
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
