weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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