drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
