I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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