Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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