this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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