normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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