We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize