and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
