dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
