went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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