I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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