either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
