god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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