i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
