Heybabeimwearingurpanties
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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