dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
