If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
