Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Girls should come with a carfax report
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
