No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
