yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
