is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
