At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
