what day is it and did you see me today?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
