awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize