Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize