She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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