Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
