look no pants
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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