I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize