so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
