We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
