planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
