I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
