I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
