so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
