She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
