Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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