he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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