Dual....:-)
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
why do cheetos always look like penises
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
