Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
