4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
