so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
