Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
