Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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