I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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