Old men and throwing up are my life now.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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