Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
