It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize